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The depression of not having family support around for a young couple, a young mother is very real!

We applied for my mum’s 143 visa on the 14th March 2017 at the time we were told that by paying so much the visa would only take 18 months here we are five years later with nothing just waiting time behind us. 

We are a mixed family, me being from Ireland and my husband being from India so we have no family here for support. 

As a lot of people would say well if it’s hard just go back to where you come from, but why should we? This is a dream for us to be here to work towards a better life for our family, but why should we be punished for our choice. 

Family means everything to us so not having anyone around has played hard on us as a couple and as a young family trying to make our dreams come true. 

We wouldn’t expect my mum to just come here and play the role as babysitter. But the extra help would be life-changing, to say the least. As a young mother, I have come to realise it takes a village to raise children. But why should that village be strangers? Why can’t that village be members of our family? 

When I hear the talk on programs like the DRUM and politicians about how they would like to help women get into the workforce more and how they want to make childcare more accessible it makes me smile as a good percentage of working women in this country are foreigners. 

I mean childcare is good to a certain point but if my children get sick it’s me who has to take my leave to look after them, if I get sick there’s none to assist me as my husband has to work there’s no leeway. 

Like I said before we wouldn’t expect my mother to be a live-in babysitter, but we come to the point that she wants to be part of her family. She wants to be there for her children/grandchildren. 

She has cried and expressed herself that she needs us just as much as we need her. 

The last time my mum was here was when our daughter was born, our son was only three. Our son turns seven this year and our daughter is turning four. All that Precious time missed. The depression of not having family support around for a young couple, a young mother is very real! Most of us when we become mothers need our own mothers and fathers. The value of family and what it means seems to be very missed here in Australia. Grandparents are so valuable! Our older generation is so valuable. Why, as now Australian citizens with an Australian citizen family, should we have to suffer and sacrifice being without our parents, all just because we came here for the Australian dream.

Alanna Marie J.

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