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My ‘job’ is to help my child with her children as my Mum did with me.

My youngest daughter emigrated to Australia to be with her then-boyfriend in 2012.

She got married in 2016 and has since had 3 children.  We try and visit twice a year, especially around the time of my grandchildren’s births to help her adapt and quite frankly to enjoy being  Grandparents.

Our other daughter moved to Australia to be near her sister in 2015.

Apart from the usual empty nest feeling we desperately want to be with our family. After our first grandchild was born our heartstrings were pulled so very hard we had our first appointment with our migrant agent in Joondalup.  Our papers were filed for our 143 visa in March 2017 and we were told it would take 36 months.

We last visited our family in Perth in December 2019.

Since then my Mum got sick in January 2020 and then lockdown happened.  My children were very close to my Mum as she had them from babies when I had to work.  The next bit of our story is the hardest…. I nursed Mum through a terminal illness with only FaceTime as a way of communication with my daughters.  I needed them here in the UK with me to help me through a very tough time in my life.  Sadly in February 2021, we lost my Mum.  My girls had to watch the funeral over a live feed we had arranged.  A very sad time for us all. No tangible closure for our daughters either.

My daughter announced she was expecting baby no 4  on 06/05/22.  When Mark McGowan announced he would re-open the borders on 5th February 2022 we booked flights for the end of April so we could help our daughter adapt when the new baby arrives.  The border stayed closed until 5th March, which that in itself has a hugely negative impact on our mental health.

We are desperate to get over to be with our family as Mum was our last tie (I couldn’t go to Australia while Mum was with us).  I have since asked our migrant agent what the latest is and all as I have been told is we are in the queue and our 64 months queue date is August this year.

We are desperate to move over, my mental health has been affected terribly.  I don’t feel I have a ‘job’ here, my job was as a daughter to help my Mum but also I am a Mum and my ‘job’ is to help my child with her children as my Mum did with me.  I feel as if I have been robbed of their early years and don’t know how long we have to wait.

Various parts of our everyday life are affected too, I used to get a new car every 3 years on hire purchase. This was due up last November so I had to purchase a car to enable me to sell when we leave the UK rather than take out another 3-year agreement in case we leave before then.  My whole life is up in the air.

I am a very caring, nurturing person who knows my whole world is in Perth, what on earth am I doing here??? I don’t feel I have grieved my Mum properly as I need to do this with my girls.  I live in two time zones as call the girls late at night here which is their daytime and I speak to them early morning here.  I hardly sleep, I feel my life is just being wasted here when we could be over there actually LIVING life.

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